In praise of You’ve Got Mail:
How to cure a cold in one day
It’s hard to explain chemistry, but when reading their characters’ respective emails to each other, both actors use the same easygoing lilt, and you can’t help but feel like they’re two sides of the same coin.
And of course, it helps that both protagonists are beautiful; they’re presented not as model hot, but realistically so. This is emblematic of the writing’s realism as a whole.
The plot hinges upon the fact that both protagonists are, in a way, emotional cheaters. Yes, their previous relationships are doomed, but dreaming of meeting a mystery pen pal isn’t an act for faithful lovers. What's more, the storyline also builds upon Fox’s undeniable deceit of Kelly.
This forthright depiction is a breath of fresh air in the genre, grounding but dually threatening to the very purpose of a rom-com. But then, what stops viewers from wondering if Fox and Kelly’s overtly realistic start sabotages their happily ever after?
Idealism. It’s a dangerous ingredient in the medicine that is You’ve Got Mail, to be used with caution. For every instance of real life, there’s a bit of fairy dust to sweep the plot right up.
On July 10, 2022, I realized my comfort film You’ve Got Mail was on Netflix, and on July 23, 2022, I came down with a cold. I tried the typical immune-boosting tricks—vitamin C, chugging water, a solid 10 hours of sleep—but a fever still broke out. God, I thought, it’s past midnight and there’s nothing left to try.
You’ve Got Mail relies on a blend of realism and idealism that, when I’m ill, functions similarly to Tylenol. We all know that sometimes a pair of actors become wildly popular as costars, and directors zero in on that popularity. Timothée Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan, Chris Evans and Ana de Armas—well, I can’t list them all. But to me, Hanks and Ryan are among the best.
So armed with a cup of tea, I put on You’ve Got Mail. I was quickly feeling warm, only due to the hot water breaking my fever—Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan don’t have sizzling physical chemistry, instead, they’re the soulmates-like-puzzle-pieces type. Both of their characters are charming, but Joe Fox (keyword: fox) is smooth and charismatic, whereas Kathleen Kelly is more artfully clumsy.
Every time I stray from believing the story is hyperbole, the facts hit me in the face—how does Kelly, a struggling business owner, afford a multi-room condo in Manhattan? Both characters are by definition cheaters, but with unlikable exes and plenty of alone time, we root for the protagonists anyway.
Furthermore, the juxtaposition of unhappy relationships allows Kelly and Fox’s union to seem even more beautiful. Sure, Fox tricks Kelly, but only to sweep her off her feet and make her fall deeper in love with him.
In the final scene, every negative—even the premise, which is that Fox puts Kelly’s deceased mother’s store out of business—is revealed to have a shiny, sparkling new side to the coin.
Like in countless films before, New York is romanticized, restructured, and in every scene presented as a glimmering playground for love to take root in.
The film’s blend of dreams and real life are reflected in its technical structure, too. Director Nora Ephron is a master of her craft, and it’s not a surprise that women often direct the most popular rom-coms—without unfairly stereotyping, maybe they’ve got a better insight into the target demographic.
Circling back to the characters’ appearances, the costuming is also earthy and real. Both Fox and Kelly wear frumpy pants. Fox wears lived-in suits; Kelly wears cardigans and a baggy Henley I still drool over to this day.
Yet sometimes, they still match in color—at a party, and critically, at the final scene when they accept they were made for each other.
I’ve watched You’ve Got Mail many times, the first being years ago in high school. Then, I only understood a rough sketch of the plot, and I still can’t see every plot point clearly—when exactly does Kelly realize her mystery pen pal is, in fact, her enemy Joe Fox? When does she accept that realization? And when does she realize that her enemy is now the love of her life?
There’s a bit of nuance to the enemies to lovers trope in this film, one that makes more sense with every watch as I progress into adulthood. With its mix of idealism and reality, it’s like the film ages with me, presenting a beautiful idea of what adult life could be.
You’ve Got Mail is the perfect comfort film. Not only does it get me thinking, but the nostalgia aligns with television’s ability to replenish our energy and reduce anxious feelings because we already know what’s going to happen next.
More importantly, because I often get sick during periods of high stress, seeing Kathleen Kelly fight for her career, fail, and end up with a great but unexpected solution affirms that all three of those things are okay and possible.
To be honest, I still woke up with a little bit of a foggy head the day after watching. But the lesson stands: when life amplifies your fear of failure and your body is forced to slow down, give yourself the luxury of a full break.
Put on the film or show you always come back to, knowing it can be just as effective as medicine. Use it as an anchor; measure your life against that constancy—see clearly, finally, how much you’ve really grown.
